Now that you've read Fortune's diet truths, you'll be prepared the next
     ...       time some housewife or boutique-owner-turned-diet-expert appears on TV
    (x x)      to plug her latest book.  And, if you still feel a twinge of guilt for
ooO--(_)--Ooo- eating coffee cake while listening to her exhortations, ask yourself
the following questions:

	(1) Do I dare trust a person who actually considers alfalfa sprouts a
	    food?
	(2) Was the author's sole motive in writing this book to get rich
	    exploiting the forlorn hopes of chubby people like me?
	(3) Would a longer life be worthwhile if it had to be lived as
	    prescribed ... without French-fried onion rings, pizza with
	    double cheese, or the occasional Mai-Tai?  (Remember, living
	    right doesn't really make you live longer, it just *seems* like
	    longer.)

That, and another piece of coffee cake, should do the trick.